Confidence

I know that lately I have said that I will only write about happy things, positive things. My positive thing I wanted to write about today-confidence. I must admit, I have never exactly been the most confident person. I tend to want to blend into the background. I've never really been a person who pats myself on the back, to be confident in my abilities. But today I had an evaluation at work. While I do still need to work on some things, the evaluation was great, and really made me feel good. I felt like I can finally DO this teaching thing!! While it's tough, and I know I still need to improve in different areas, I feel like I can DO this. And if I can do this, I can do anything I set my mind to!!!

Focusing on the positive...

Hello my friends!

So, I have decided to focus on the positive from now on. No more negativity. No more feeling sorry for myself. I have begun to realize that if I want something, I have to go after it and get it-not complain about it!! So, I am going to do just that, and track my progress here!! :) Hope you can hang on for the ride with me!

First, one of my big goals is to get a driver's license. I came close last summer, actually taking the test-but I failed. For some reason, instead of just practicing more, and trying again, I haven't really been doing much about it. Until now. Here's my plan. On my next paycheck I will go and renew my permit. Then, now that Avi has graduated and we have more time to spend together, I will set up a schedule of times we go driving to practice. Then, once I am comfortable, I will take the test, hopefully pass, and get my license!!! :) This will get me one step closer to independence, and living my dream life!

Life as I currently know it...

Hey everyone-yes, I know that I haven't written in FOREVER, but that is because life has been very crazy!! Between Avi graduating, the holidays, and work, it's been a really stressful, crazy time. I have been a mixed bag of emotions lately-happy, mad, sad-but, all in all, life is pretty good. I have been trying to focus on the positive things; my amazing boyfriend, my wonderful family, my great friends, my awesome job, working out-but sometimes I just get overwhelmed and sad with everything. But I know that God has a plan, and everything is going to work out. It's just hard being patient!!! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and I hope that you can forgive me for not posting sooner!!

Hello, all!!

Hey friends! So, life has been SO busy lately, which is why I haven't posted anything! Sorry about that! Here's an update:

1.) I am LOVING my job-it was hard the first few weeks, and, in some ways, it still is, but I LOVE it-I feel very fulfilled teaching these amazing kiddos!

2.) Avi is graduating soon! I am SO proud of him! I can't WAIT!!! It's going to be great to meet some of his family that I haven't met yet! :)

3.) Sarah took AMAZING pictures of Avi and I-check them out on my Facebook page! I love you, Sarah, YOU ROCK!!!

That's basically it. Life is chaotic and hard, but it is beautiful too!

Smile!

Times, they are a changin'

Hi there, everyone!! Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I have had SO much going on in my life lately! The biggest is that I got a new job! :) FINALLY! I am going to be teaching at an after school program at Cesar Chavez Elementary School. It's part of the GRPS Schools of Hope YET program. It's basically a  program designed to help kids who are behind in their reading. I am SO excited, but nervous. I am going to do my very best though, and work SUPER hard so that it is a GREAT success. Plus, things with the divorce are moving forward. My parents went to mediation earlier this week, and it didn't go so well. I am not sure if we can keep it out of court, so I am probably going to have to testify. BLECK! I don't want to, but I will if I am asked. Anyway-please keep sending positive energy and thoughts my way! I could use it! :)

Times, they are a changin'

Hey, there friends!!! Hope you all had a great labor day weekend!! Wow, so much has been happening for me lately. The other day I got calls for 4-yes, 4!-job interviews!!! I'd LOVE to have any one of them!! It'd be great to have a steady job, so I can help my Mom, and also pay my own bills!! :) I am struggling, however-which job should I take? Will any of them offer me the position? Am I wasting my time? Shouldn't I be focusing on teaching?! UGH! SO much to think about. What should I do...??

Coulda, shoulda, woulda

Hey guys-sorry, I know it's been awhile since I have written anything. It's just been kinda crazy for me!! :) I am working as a temp right now at Network 180, so between that and trying to spend time with Avi my sweetie, it's been a busy couple days. While it has been crazy, it's been great. I have a wonderful man who loves me. I am VERY proud of him-he starts Football Frenzy this week, and he graduates in December from GVSU!! He's been AMAZING through all that's been happening lately! I am very grateful to have him with me.

It's kind of hard to describe how I am feeling these days. Mostly, I am pretty happy. I am working, I have great friends, a great family, a great boyfriend....but there's a sadness too. I can't really describe it. It's a sadness that just kind of comes over me at the oddest times. It's a sadness for what my family was. It's a sadness for what my family could've been. As my Mom said, it's like a death. I am grieving the loss of my family. Or, rather, what my family was and could have-should have-been. I SHOULD have had a Dad to walk me down the aisle. My nieces and nephews SHOULD have their Grandpa. Andrew (my brand new nephew), SHOULD be able to know his Grandpa. My Mother SHOULD have her husband, the man she was going to grow old with. Instead, she is sad, and there's nothing I can do for her right now. I try to help as much as I can, but sometimes I feel it isn't enough.

In the midst of all this, I am trying to achieve life goals. Get a license and car. Get a good job that I love. While this hasn't exactly worked the way that I wanted it to, I know it will happen eventually. I just wish it was NOW sometimes!!!

Anyway-that's my life right now...and despite it all, I wouldn't change it for anything....